Walking Your Way to a Better Marriage

Saturday, July 18, 2015


Hey everyone! 

Ben and I recently got back from our family vacation to Nags Head, North Carolina.  While finally changing out of my travel clothes and relaxing, I started to reflect on our trip.  As part of my reflections I began to think about what part of the trip was my favorite.  This led me to thinking about our past podcast episode when we discussed how to spend some alone time with your significant other while on a family trip.  Well, both of these thoughts led me to the same experience...walking our dogs!

Each morning Ben and I would get up early and take our two dogs on a walk on the beach.  This time was a commitment and special for both of us.  I am an early bird, so the early walk wasn't too much of a challenge and I was often the first one in the house awake.  Plus, as a teacher I'm on summer break and so sleeping in just isn't that special this time of the year.  However, Ben is more of a night owl and rarely gets to sleep in due to his work schedule.  Despite this, every morning he got up without much prodding and with a smile on his face.  He even was out playing pool with my extended family till one in the morning (eeek...I haven't seen that hour since college) and yet, was smiling at me at 6:00 am to take the puppies.  


The walking was great for many reasons.  For starters, it gave us some time to digest the events of the previous day.  We were able to talk about things we liked and didn't like.  Things people said that upset us and made us happy.  I'm not ashamed to say we also spent a little of it gossiping.  I'm a notorious facebook "stalker," but there is nothing like getting the news from the source :) Overall, it was nice to have a sounding board for my questions, complaints, concerns, frustrations, thanksgivings, and jubilations.  And isn't that what your marriage is all about?  Having someone to share everything with.

In addition to giving us time to talk, the walks gave us a break from everyone.  On a crowded vacation it can often feel like you have no space or time of your own.  Inherently every activity has many participants.  In my family it can be even worse because we are so large.  With 6 beach houses full of people there was plenty of crying, yelling, talking, and laughter to go around.  At least some part of our walks each day was spent in silence.  We were able to enjoy one another's presence without the overwhelming push to participate.  We could simply be.  I firmly believe you need this time to relax and stay sane on a trip like ours.  It made it all the better that I could do this with Ben.

Lastly, our daily walks eased any frustration or unhappiness through the best medicine, laughter!  Pets can always bring a smile to your face, but observing them outside their comfort zone can be highly entertaining.  Each walk resulted in a silly story that made us laugh at the absurdity that is chihuahuas.  On one walk Milo and Timmy teamed up like a pair of velociraptors to attack a poor unsuspecting frog (don't worry the frog survived).  On another trip, a large wave came up on the beach out of nowhere.  Milo was able to escape, but the water hit Timmy's paws and he simply gave up.  He stood very still as the water poured over his back all the while looking at Ben and I like we had betrayed him.  I'm sure any of you with pets can appreciate this look.  Each of these moments were a special time we were able to share as a family.  It's these little things we remember.


So, if you're getting ready for a vacation with family, perhaps you should consider setting aside some time each day for a walk.  It can be any time of day and with our without pets.  The important thing is that you spend this time together, building memories.  

Sam
(sorry there aren't any pics of Timmy :(  He spent most of the vacation with his favorite person, grandma)


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